MEN GO TO STRIP CLUBS TO LOOK AT NAKED WOMEN

Shocking isn’t it?  Of course there are many reasons men like to look at naked women. In this post, I’m going to break down the whole issue of why men go to strip clubs and look at naked women.

IT’S IN A MAN’S NATURE TO GO TO STRIP CLUBS

Men are biologically pre-disposed to enjoy looking at women’s bodies.  We are born with a visual/tactile orientation when it comes to sex.  Men are visually stimulated, where women are generally more intellectually and emotionally stimulated.  Men like looking at women, straight men anyway.  It’s pleasing to them.  They can’t change that because it is part of their DNA.  Admiring a woman’s body is proven to be mentally and emotionally healthy for men. Neurological research demonstrates it feeds the same pleasure centers as admiring art in a museum or the beauty of nature in the great outdoors.

READY TO ADMIRE THE SCENIC NATURAL BEAUTY OF VEGAS BEST STRIP CLUBS?

A STRIP CLUB IS A SAFE PLACE TO BE A MAN IN AN EMASCULATED WORLD

Modern society tries to keep men from being men.  If I admire a woman’s body in public, I’m labeled a creep or a pervert.  I certainly agree it is wrong in civil society for men to stare at women like starving animals.  It is wrong to give cat calls or wolf whistles or walk down the street and say, “nice ass.”  Any true man would never do that.  But as a man who is both a gentleman and a masculine person, I should be able to tell a woman that she is stunningly beautiful when I think she is.  (I am assuming here that I am not trying to pick up this woman or creep on her, but simply as a man give her a genuine authentic comment with no agenda.)  But in our society, it isn’t acceptable for a man to do that.

But in the strip club a man can stare at a woman and admire her beauty.  He can enjoy the visual stimulation of her curves and her breasts.  No one inside the club labels him or judges him for being true to his nature in the strip club unless he behaves badly.  By behaving badly, I refer to men who visit strip clubs for wrong reasons–more below under “Bad Reasons.”  In a strip club a man can tell a woman he thinks she is beautiful or hot or sexy.  He can tell her he thinks she has a nice ass.  As long as he behaves properly he is safe being naughty here.

The Strip Club is a Safe Place to Be a Man

HE IS NOT IN THE STRIP CLUB TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND

Precisely the opposite; he goes to avoid cheating.  For a really good article including research from an esteemed anthropologist that supports this concept go here.   Modern relationships are complex.  The business and stress of life takes a toll on sexuality and sensuality.  A man in a relationship can go to a strip club and satisfy his natural desire to look at women and maybe even touch them without jeopardizing his relationship.

MEN GO TO STRIP CLUBS TO SATISFY UNMET NEEDS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS

Again he isn’t there to cheat.  Let’s be honest.  Modern TV, movies and commercials portray men as dumb, unattractive, desperate fools who only get a woman’s attention out of sympathy or when she is horny.  It is socially acceptable for wives and girlfriends to make fun of their men and to ridicule them. And in many relationships the woman constantly criticizes, berates and disrespects her man. Men know that isn’t true. He knows it is wrong for a woman to treat him that way.  He both needs and deserves to be treated better. But he loves her and is committed to her.  In the strip club, the women tell him he is handsome. They tell him he is smart and witty and interesting.  He needs and deserves this.

He can talk to strippers about things he can’t talk about with his wife or girlfriend. They laugh at his jokes.  They listen to him talk about his life and stresses.  He can ask strippers questions about sex. He can learn about what women do and don’t enjoy and what turns them on all in a safe environment.  He can’t talk with his wife or girlfriend about this because she expects him to know everything already.  He can share his frustration and clear the confusion that comes from his woman expecting him to be both masculine and more emotional at the same time.  (Trust me Ladies, men really are confused about this, and I think many of you are as well.)  Every dancer I know says that much of her job is like being a professional therapist with less clothing.

In my personal life I was married for many years.  I never cheated even though as a plastic surgeon I looked at and touched other women’s breasts every day.  After the divorce when it was time to “get back out there” I had no clue about how to talk to attractive women.  So, I went to strip clubs and talked to strippers. The confidence I gained from hanging out with hot women was therapeutic and healing. The insights I got into how women think and what they respond to both romantically and sexually made me a better man, a better lover, and a better boyfriend for the women I date today.

MEN GO TO STRIP CLUBS FOR THE FANTASY

This is related to the section above, but in the strip club a man can live out the fantasy that he is desired by women. We know that absolutely stunning sexy dancer isn’t really into us.  We know she isn’t dripping wet to have sex with us.  We know she doesn’t want to be our girlfriend.  But she is so good at selling the fantasy that she does.  So good that she actually gets goosebumps and moans when I touch the back of her neck. (OK, maybe that particular dancer was into me;)  The point is humans enjoy being seen as desired.  And for many men, the fantasy of being highly desired by beautiful women is fulfilled in the strip club.

MEN GO TO THE STRIP CLUB TO WATCH OTHER MEN…AND NOT IN A GAY WAY

While men are looking at the women in the strip club, they are also watching the other men. We watch each other spend.  We laugh at the creepers and perverts.  We compare ourselves to other men and it strokes our ego that we aren’t desperate or creepy or blowing as much money as they are. We try to spot the men who are worried they will “get caught” in the strip club–married men, pastors and priests, politicians, celebrities, etc.  By the way, the women are looking at each other too.  Women customers watch each other and the strippers and the men in the club. Strippers look at each other to learn new techniques and criticize bad behavior.  They watch the men to see who might spend more.  They size up men to see who might be easy and who might be a challenge.  There is so much people watching going on in the strip clubs, I sometimes honestly forget there are naked women on stage or a hottie in a G-String in my lap.

WHY DON’T MEN TELL THEIR WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS THEY GO TO STRIP CLUBS 

If it really is natural and safe and healthy and not cheating for men to go to strip clubs, then why do so many men hide it from their wives and girlfriends?  Fair question.  Two answers…

…FIRST, MOST MEN ARE COWARDS

They don’t want to have the fight with their wife or girlfriend who wouldn’t approve or understand, so they hide it from her. This needs to change. Some men actually like the risk of being bad or naughty.  They reason if their girl found out, it would be trouble but it wouldn’t end the relationship.

Because of who I am and what I do any woman who dates me knows I am in strip clubs often.  She is always welcome to go.  Most do; some don’t.  A woman has to be secure in her self and I also have to behave in ways that reassure her I am committed to her.  Some men are afraid to have the money fight; they don’t want their wife to know how much they spend in strip clubs. If I were to marry again or live with a woman, I’d make sure she got to spend the same amount on her entertainment choices that I spend in strip clubs and my other entertainment.

I think all men who visit strip clubs should tell their wives or girlfriends and be open and honest about it.  That means confronting the money issue too.  If you hide it and hide the money you spend in the strip clubs then it looks like cheating.  Trust me, being open and honest is healthy for relationships.

…SECOND, OUR SOCIETY IS CONFUSED

It is socially taboo to look at women.  We have to admit something is wrong when society celebrates a man admitting he is gay and chastises a man who admits he gets lap dances.  I personally believe that human sexuality is complex and as long as it doesn’t harm someone else, you should be able to enjoy what you like. For me and many men that includes looking at naked women in strip clubs. It doesn’t make us weird or perverts; society needs to end stripper bashing and straight male bashing.  People of all sexual orientations need to all behave like responsible adults.

BAD REASONS MEN GO TO STRIP CLUBS

•  Trying to have sex with strippers.  Some men admittedly go to cheat.  

They are usually not successful.  I know a guy who makes a living with his book on “Stripper Game”. I’ve seen him in Vegas strip clubs for over 5 years and I’ve never seen him actually succeed in even getting a stripper’s phone number, much less sex.  Of course is approach is all wrong, but dumb guys buy it and he makes a living. Sex with strippers does happen but it is very rare and not what the clubs are about as we’ve documented repeatedly on our site with so many posts and pages that I can’t link them all here.

• Creepers.  

These guys probably have a woman chained in a basement somewhere.  A dancer I dated once had a guy bring a pair of his deceased grandmother’s panty hose to the club in a plastic bag and ask her to wear them and dance for him.  She said no and had the bouncer kick him out.  Dancers avoid these folks.

• Pimps.  

These pieces of human excrement go to the strip clubs and spend lots of cash on dancers or give them drugs.  Then they talk about how they know this other club, usually in another state, where the girl can make soooo much money.  They buy her lots of things or get her addicted to drugs and then pimp her out to support her habit or payback the money they spent on her. Vegas strip clubs are very good about eliminating these guys although it is a constant battle.  Other places around the country, the problem is much worse.

MEN ARE MEN AND WOMEN ARE WOMEN

Men get the same pleasure from going to a strip club as women get from reading romance novels or watching a chick flick or “Sex in the City” re-runs.  It is the same thing; men and women just have different natures.  If women were visually aroused the way men are we’d have thousands of male strip clubs in Las Vegas instead of a small handful of male strip shows and revues.  Think about it this way: There are over 200 strip clubs in New York City and there has never been one mentioned in “Sex In the City.” By the same token, porn videos don’t display Gucci bags and accessories. If shoe shopping and romance novels are accepted healthy outlets for what it means to be feminine, then admiring tits and ass in the strip club should be acknowledged as a healthy outlet for what it means to be a man.

AND DON’T TELL ME YOUR MAN ISN’T LIKE THAT

My dancer friends tell me the clubs are filled with Pastors, Priests, Deacons, Ministers, Politicians of every sort and married men.  Your guy is lying to you if he says he doesn’t like looking at women’s bodies.  He should admit it and you should accept it.  I cannot possibly re-wire my brain to not enjoy a beautiful woman.  I don’t want to either.  And that won’t change because I fall in love with the most amazing woman on the planet.  Men view women as sex objects.  We aren’t going to change.  We cannot change.  We don’t want to change.  But we do want to be civilized and gentlemen about it.  Some guys are hypocrites and lie about it.  But the fact is looking at naked women is as natural as admiring fast cars, watching sports and laughing at fart jokes.  It is hard wired in our DNA; part of our testosterone.  Let’s just accept it, embrace it and move on.  Maybe then we can work on important things like honesty in relationships, ending cheating, human trafficking and other bad behaviors.